Thursday, February 10, 2005

Meg Ryan Redux

For the past six months or so I’ve been conducting an experiment to try to get my hair to look like Catherine Zeta Jones’ hair--a lofty but ultimately unachievable goal as it turns out. Last week, I conducted an informal poll among my friends, and the results were unanimous—“Your hair looks like total and utter crap!” OK. Of course, no one came out and said that, but all said they thought it would look better if I did something else with it--anything else. Actually it was looking rather terrible. It was long, limp, and lifeless as well as faded and frizzy. In all but the kindest lighting, I looked haggard. And I can’t have that.

I went to get my hair cut and colored today and reverted back to my Meg Ryan look. Actually, I don’t look that much like her (nor do I have a similar personality or exhibit Meglike lapses in judgment). I don’t have the botch-job lips or the blonde hair or the ice-blue eyes. However, a rather high degree of Megginess can be coaxed from my hair. This was the most important discovery ever made in my personal history of hairstyles, most of which consisted of a fruitless quest to get my wavy but fine-textured hair to look as thick and full as possible. I will be forever grateful to my hairstylist, M, for pushing my hair to its Meggiest limits when no one else believed it was possible!

Speaking of thickness and volume, the Tulip Decapitator showed up today and got to work on the thick and voluminous hedge. It was after dark when I got home, but from what I can tell by the hedge's silhouette, it now has a flattop worthy of H.R. Haldeman.


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