Sunday, August 19, 2007

A Partial Explanation (Maybe)

Remember how I nearly ralphed all over the resplendent Skyline Trail on Mount Rainier (if not, read the previous entry and then come back to this one)? Well, I just now took a look at the ingredients list on the packet of Oh Boy! Oberto Smok-A-Roni sausage sticks* I sampled moments before hitting the trail. The very first ingredient is—PORK HEART!!! I might have a tiny quibble with the grammar, preferring to refer to such an ingredient as a swine heart (or a hog ticker or pig pump), but I get their drift! I do not [heart] hearts!

Now, I know full well that all tubed meats are likely to contain “variety meats,” but I have been known to eat (and enjoy) a Slim Jim from time to time.** Still, why, oh why, didn’t I read the fine print? Why was I in such a gosh-darn hurry to buy that packet of seven Smok-A-Roni sausage sticks, which, at $2.69 plus tax, was vastly overpriced?

The second and third ingredients, I now know, are beef fat and pork fat. Nice. Of course, it’s my own fault. The ingredient list was right there in ALL CAPS. The print was not microscopic nor obscurely placed. Let that be a lesson to me!

*Recall that I ate only one of these sticks, approximate measurements: 6 inches in length with a diameter of 0.5 inch. I did not find it tasty. In fact, I thought it was pretty bad. It crossed my mind that it could even be rancid. Is that possible? The package proudly trumpets the fact that B.H.A. is “Added To Protect Flavor.” And just to be on the safe side, there’s also potassium nitrate, lactic acid starter culture, sodium nitrite, sodium nitrate (yes, why not go overboard with the preservatives and carcinogens?), and potassium sorbate. There, now you know practically every ingredient in the Smok-A-Ronis—an exquisite blend of chemicals, fats, and hearts.

**Note to Self: Check ingredient list on Slim Jims. Better yet, don’t bother. Just never eat one again.

Labels: ,


Post a Comment

<< Home