A Ruthless Evaluation of My Tomatoes

After two years of trying to grow tomatoes, I have yet to arrive at that blissful state of having such a surfeit of tomatoes that I am forced to dispense them to friends, neighbors, FedEx delivery persons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and anyone else who might show up on my doorstep. Out of the six plants I planted, one has performed magnificently; two have performed passably; two have performed dismally; and one has performed exceptionally but parsimoniously. Or to put it another way: one gets an A; two get B minuses; two get Fs; and one gets a B plus for achievement but an F for effort. (That slacker.)

So how do I reward that valedictorian of a tomato plant? By harvesting its bounty and subjecting it to the whirring blades of my blender. That’s right--turning its ass into salsa!

And darn tasty salsa it is, too. (Fresh ginger is the secret weapon.) After B and I ate our way through a bag of chips, I ate the rest of the salsa with a spoon and didn’t share.

Old German Heirloom* Salsa

12 ounces tomatoes, diced
3 (or more) serrano peppers, diced
1/4 inch slice of fresh ginger, peeled and cut into bits
1 small onion, diced
1 glove of garlic, minced
1.5 teaspoons lime juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
small handful of chopped cilantro

Place 1/3 of the tomatoes, the onion, and the garlic in a bowl. Dump the rest of the tomatoes, the peppers, the ginger, the lime juice, the salt, and the cumin in the blender. Blend to desired consistency and pour into bowl with tomato-onion-garlic mixture. Mix in cilantro. Let it sit in the fridge a few hours for maximum toothsomeness.

*Old German heirloom tomatoes (my A-rated tomatoes) were what I used to make this salsa. They’re a lemon-colored tomato.