Friday, November 24, 2006

Glorifying God Through Our Business Transactions

I’m fried! I worked today, although not really diligently or productively enough to account for the crispy-crunchy malaise I’m now experiencing.

I’ve slightly revived myself with a coffeecup of Vedge, which tastes exactly like V8 but is made with 10 vegetables instead of 8 and is not manufactured by the icky Campbell Soup company.

Remember those TV commercials for V8 where people strike their forehead with the heel of their hand and exclaim, “I could have had a V8!!!!” after guzzling down a less satisfying bottled beverage (e.g., Yoo-hoo, Mickey’s Big Mouth, Kickapoo Joy Juice)? Well, I have that problem with Vedge. I cannot for the life of me ever remember that there’s a big bottle of Vedge in the fridge. Why is that? I do love it, but I just doesn’t register when I open the fridge. I still don’t see it despite the fact that I've posted a note on the fridge that says, “Drink Vedge!”

What more do I have to do?

Was Campbell’s on to something when they rolled out that ad campaign for V8? Are our brains somehow hardwired to never spontaneously crave a tomato-and-beet–based vegetable drink?

Hold everything. I’ve just discovered the following statement on the Web site of Bolthouse Farms, manufacturers of Vedge.

The purpose of this Company is to glorify God through our business transactions, our work, and our relationships. It is further our desire to bring honor and glory to the Name of Jesus Christ by following God's Word in all of our dealings with employees, suppliers, and customers. God's Work as contained in His Inspired Scriptures will be the final authority in all Corporate matters concerning direction, decisions, and disputes.

Holy Shite! Glorifying God through our business transactions? Fine. Have your beliefs, but don't pretend that raking in record profits is a function of worship. That is a load of crazy horse crap.

Note the veiled threat in the final sentence of their statement. What is that about? Are they saying that they're above the law? I envision the following scenario. Suppose you have a complaint about, say, their Prickly Pear Cactus Lemonade. Perhaps a stray cactus needle found its way into your bottle of juice and impaled your tongue. Don't expect them to take the rap. Don't even expect a refund! It’s divine retribution for your sins! I’m now deeply regretting that I gave any money to that wingnut company.

In case you’re wondering, I will be just as thrilled/relieved as everyone else when this whole NaBloPoMo thing is over, and I can go back to posting 2-3 times a week.

Today’s Random NaBloPoMo blog: Caffinara


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