Whack and Unwrap!

Imagine my glee last night when I saw a giant display of these chocolate oranges at the grocery store!



It was hard to restrain myself and only buy one, as these are the very confections that started my love affair with the orange-chocolate flavor combo. I know that some of you may be turning up your noses at the fact that I bought the milk chocolate version rather than the dark chocolate version, but deal with it.

Little-known chocolate orange facts:

• They're distributed by megacorporation Kraft Foods but manufactured in Poland.
• They contain real orange oil but fake vanilla.
• The chocolate orange I purchased will remain fresh until September 9, 2008. Not that it will last that long!
• All I'd have to do to fulfill my daily iron requirement is eat 13 of these things.
• The slogan/tag line for chocolate oranges is "Whack and Unwrap!"

Don't believe me?


That slogan alone would be enough to make me buy one if I wasn't already an unwavering convert and disciple of chocolate oranges.

I guess I didn't remember that chocolate oranges had to be whacked before they could be eaten (perhaps because in my first encounter with one it had been prewhacked for me).

I found myself wondering how I was supposed to whack it? And where? There are no instructions. I called the 800 number on the package, not because I was truly baffled about the whacking, but just because, I guess, I was feeling like yanking someone's chain. I wanted to see what the customer service person would say and how seriously they'd take me if I asked them to walk me through the orange whacking protocol. Should I be ashamed of myself? It's a moot point because all the customer service drones were gone for the day.

So I just slammed the thing into the countertop a couple of times.



I'm giving myself an A+ in whacking and unwrapping.