Sunday, August 07, 2011

The Bane of My Existence

Epic Fail!

This is supposed to be a baby hat. I hated knitting this sooo much for so many reasons. Firstly, I foolishly--in a moment of high stress last January--told a pregnant co-worker that I would knit a hat for her forthcoming baby (even though I don't really connect with this co-worker and even though I don't like knitting hats).

This promise dangled over my head and gnawed at my subconscious for months before I finally scheduled a lunchtime yarn excursion to a yarn shop with my co-worker. She had no trouble picking out the yarn--Santa Claus Red and Recycling Wheelie Bin Blue. Let me just say--not my favorite color combo. At. All.

I purchased the yarn and then put off, put off, put off actually getting down to the business of starting the hat. I finally started knitting the hat on a plane en route to Chicago over the July 4th weekend.

Problem number 1: How to knit for the unborn? Sure, I had a pattern, but, I don't know, the hat looked super small. So I ripped out about four inches of knitting and started over with more stitches.

Problem number 2: The stripes looked like crap, and there was this big loose icky area whenever I switched from Santa to Recycling Wheelie Bin.

Problem number 2 and a half: Is the hat too big now? Maybe. Maybe not? Who can know?

Problem number 3: I would really rather be knitting anything else other than this ding-dong hideous baby hat.

I got home from my trip, having not done any knitting during the plane ride. I finally realized how much the stupid hat was torturing me and how much I didn't want to spend any of my precious free time working on this friggin' thing and had a brilliant idea.

Find a baby hat knitter on Etsy and just buy one. Why didn't I think of this earlier? There are many folks on Etsy who knit baby hats and I found a lovely woman who was willing to make one in the exact same retch-worthy colors and customize it to emulate the pattern I was using. It is sitting next to my computer in a ziplock bag as I type this, and it looks so much better than the rubbish I was knitting. (By now, my co-worker has had the baby and is on maternity leave, so I'll just mail it to her. She'll assume I made it, but the ethics of this slight deception are not bothering me.)

I say "rubbish" because that is where the baby hat in progress currently resides--in the rubbish bin under the kitchen sink mingling with rotting arugula and coffee grounds. I couldn't be happier. Normally, I wouldn't throw away failed knitting. I'd unravel it and save the yarn, but in this case? No.

OK. I did try to see if I could repurpose the hat by turning it into a cat cowl. But I strongly suspected the cat wouldn't go for it. And I was correct. Like me, he finds the style and colors absolutely disgusting.

Trying to Pretend This Isn't Happening

Pissed Off

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2 Comments:

Blogger zzzz said...

http://gameismypassion.blogspot.co.uk/

12:05 AM  
Blogger Leather Out Let said...

https://leatheroutlet.us/collections/b3-leather-bomber-jackets
A Truly Stunning Vintage WW2 B3 sheepskin shearling flying pilot leather bomber jacket size Large.

This Garment Is In Very Good Condition For It's Age With No Rips, Holes Or Tears & The Internal Sheepskin Lining Is Also In Excellent Condition.

There Does Appear To Be Some Signs Of General Wear, Repairs, Scuffs, Nicks Etc, Etc Etc In Places Which Only Further Enhances The Natural Character & Patina Of This Item And Is Due To The Unique History Of The Garment.

It Also Appears to Have Had Some Restoration Work, New Zip Etc At Some Point In Order To Restore, And Preserve This Wonderful Garment.

2:21 AM  

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