Some Harmless Vandalism

I wish I was clever/immature enough to have created some harmless vandalism of this caliber. Hee, hee, hee!!! At least I was clever enough to have my camera in my pocket.

Apparently this is how Portlanders who have a snow day fill their time. I wholeheartedly approve.

The one thing that sucks (just a little) about working from home is—no snow days! I consoled myself by working at the dining room table, so that I could monitor how other Portlanders (Portlanders with a snow day, that is) coped with five whopping inches of snow.



This guy thought it was the perfect day to haul out his dirt bike (I doubt it’s street legal) and ride it slowly yet noisily and stenchily up and down the street. He was out there for hours. No helmet or coat or anything.



Now this guy had the right idea! After seeing him, I decided I’d better take a little break and get out there myself. (And thank god I did, or I would have never known of the existence [the fleeting existence] of the fabulous Penismobile.)

I put on my boots and my woolies and went out to for a walk. One of the first things I saw was this Tri-Met bus, idling impotently at the bottom of a very small hill. A guy in a Subaru (with chains on the tires!) creeping gingerly down the hill yelled out to me that the bus had been stalled there since 7:00 AM. It was about 2:30 PM. Wow. The driver was still in the bus, too. What? Does he have to go down with the ship?

I had hoped that the streets would be completely devoid of cars and trucks. That would have been great to experience, but the city had tossed some black stuff (pulverized lava?) on the main and semi-main drags, so a few people were out driving—exceptionally cautiously. Others made no attempt to drive.



I love this! Apparently, someone’s pretty eager to unload this car, but a bit too lazy to actually clear off enough snow so that prospective buyers could actually see the car. That plan was not fully baked.

Lots of people were out on foot. Everyone and his or her dog(s) it seemed like. Dog Day Afternoon! There were way more people out romping with their dogs than there ever are on a nice summer weekend. Interesting.

People were out having fun, no doubt about it. As I headed back home (and back to work), I walked up a street that was so steep no cars dared attempt it. People in the neighborhood turned it into a sledding hill. This guy, a fully grown adult, came careering toward me at a rather alarming clip.



When he saw me photographing him, he raised his arms above his head like he was Lance Armstrong or similar. A second later, he was grabbing frantically for the steering mechanism so as not to crash into that stone retaining wall. By the way, this was mere yards from the Penismobile, so I’m gonna say this guy was responsible.