17 Percent Happier

One week ago, I spent the day shivering in my office--trying to get some work done--bundled up in an Aran sweater with the space heater aimed full blast at my feet. The door from the garage to the house was WIDE OPEN and a tremendously freezing draft was swooshing down the stairs into my office.

Much drilling, clanging, banging, slamming, clunking, muttering, and intermittent whistling of "Tijuana Taxi" was also involved.

It was all worth it, though, because by the end of the day, The Worst Dishwasher Known to Humanity™ had been dishonorably discharged after years of substandard service (its shortcomings are catalogued here), new cabinets had been fashioned, and a new dishwasher had been installed.

I’ve been testing the new dishwasher (it’s this model, if you must know). So far, I’ve loaded it with:

• Plates with hardened scrambled eggs on them.
• Bowls with chili residue in them, purposely left on the counter for a few hours to “mature” before being loaded into the dishwasher.
• A cookie sheet that really should have been greased before I baked cookies on it (lots of baked-on chocolate and cookie crust to be dealt with).
• A jellyroll pan with remnants of gooey homemade granola clinging to it.
• A grater used to grate a carrot and shuttled straight into the dishwasher without so much as a quick rinse to rid it of carrot shreddies.

Everything came out sparkling clean! It is simply delightful to unload the dishwasher and see that I don’t have to rewash every single thing in it. I’ve gone so far as to place the spotlessly clean cookie sheet on the counter with a note on it proclaiming, “The dishwasher kicks ARSE!” I just couldn't bring myself to put it away without giving B the chance to see what a good job the dishwasher had done and without giving myself a chance to gloat. Perhaps I should buy some gold stars and stick one on the dishwasher every time it comes through for me.

What can’t it do? I think I could place a platter containing an entire uneaten Thanksgiving dinner in there and open up the dishwasher at the end of the cycle to find nary a wishbone.

Seriously, I am at least 17 percent happier than I was during the dark days of the old dishwasher’s regime, and I look forward to providing the new dishwasher with more tough baked-on/dried-on challenges. Anyone have suggestions?