Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Did I Leave This Brain Chemical Here?

That’s what B matter-of-factly said to me as I was sitting at the dining-room table yesterday. I’m used to this sort of question from him. He was referring to a bottle of DMAE (which claims to enhance mental concentration) that was on the table. B has had various allergies his whole life. Years of steroid inhalers and allergy shots weren't too effective. He now prides himself on his self-medicating finesse. When GNC introduced its Gold Card Club, he signed up with enthusiasm so he could add to his collection of herbs and supplements. (He even got a card for superhealthy me.)

I had the opportunity yesterday to take a closer look at his collection while trying to locate a bottle of Tylenol, and I discovered these intriguing products on his shelf:
  • Minor Blue Dragon
  • Ginkgo Power from Japan!
  • Pink Bismuth
  • Lacto-Safe
  • Nasafrin
This is but a small fraction of what has accumulated on that shelf (much of which I think he tried a few times and abandoned). While I found the names of these products amusing, I am somewhat disturbed by it all. B is about as straight an arrow as you’re ever likely to find when it comes to illegal drugs--he’s never even smoked weed--but, boy howdy, when it comes to the “legal” stuff, he’s kind of a junky. Most of what he takes is for respiratory issues and a few have to do with food allergies and some (like the DMAE brain booster) I think he just bought on a lark because that Gold Card was burning a hole in his pocket. I just hope all this stuff is safe. I guess it can't be as bad as the steroids.


Blogger Rusty said...

Wow! B takes more non-prescription stuff than I take prescription stuff. Quick reactions:
Minor Blue Dragon? -- If you're gonna do it, do it all the way!
Gingko Power from Japan! -- I'm sure that, much like Jeopardy!, they supply the exclamation mark to imply that something exciting lies within the bottle. Bet B was disappointed to find it's just as strong as the stuff from Hoboken.
Pink Bismuth -- He could've spent less on Pepto...
Lacto-Safe -- Is he lactose intolerant? If not, what's the point? Imagine the evil genius out there, trying to figure out how to destroy the world, and pondering his greatest foil, LACTO-DANGER! I can hear the maniacal laugh now.
Nasafrin -- for some reason, I'm just reminded of the scene in Crocodile Dundee where Nick pours the vile of cocaine into the hot water and tells the junkie it works better to use it like a vaporizer...

Man, and I thought I was having issues...

7:02 PM  
Blogger Rozanne said...


Ha! I know what you mean about the *Minor* Blue Dragon. If Minor Blue Dragon is good, wouldn't Major Blue Dragon be better? That's how we Americans think anyway. That Pink Bismuth stuff is Rite-Aid brand Pepto. B buys it cuz it's cheapter than real Pepto, but either way it's vile stuff. LACTO-DANGER! I'd like to see that on the shelf. There are people who ascribe all sorts of maladies to the consumption of milk--I imagine they'd love to see such a product.

10:08 AM  

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