Sightings Over the Past Few Days

• A Winnebago with a horn that played barnyard sounds such as a cow moo-ing and a rooster crowing. This vehicle was part of a slow-moving procession of Christmas-light peepers on Peacock Lane. Every time the Winnebago cut loose with one of the barnyard sounds (i.e., about every ten seconds), the Winnebagoans congratulated each other, as if they’d just done something worthy of the Nobel Prize for Comedy. It was really annoying.
• A granny “hiking” alone on a very muddy trail dressed in snow-white stockings, a plaid skirt, and loafers. Good for her, but in my opinion, she was playing with fire. At the very least, she must have had a devil of a time getting the spatters of mud out of those white stockings. Worst-case scenario: the slick soles of the loafers failed to provide adequate purchase on the mud, and she slipped and fell on her kilted keister.
• A Yorkshire terrier (real--not a plush toy) perched on a counter in the Post Office. Portlanders are always trying to extend the boundaries of dog-allowed territory.
• A middle-aged man, Tour de France-ready, in the Fred Meyer grocery store with his bike--a bike evidently too precious to leave locked up outside, but not so precious that it couldn’t be leaned--unlocked--against the bulk-candy bins while he roamed the booze aisle.